Why it is important to teach your child to wait

Teaching our children to wait is fundamental for healthy development.

This is because patience is not just about waiting for something desired, but also about having self-control, resilience, and the ability to cope with life's frustrations.

Therefore, children who learn to wait are more likely to deal with stress, solve problems more effectively, and maintain healthy relationships.

Furthermore, patience plays a crucial role in academic and professional success, as mastering skills such as concentration and perseverance are essential for learning and achieving long-term goals.

The Stanford marshmallow experiment: is it worth learning to wait?

One of the most famous studies that aimed to investigate the benefits of waiting for gratification is the marshmallow experiment. It was conducted by psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 60s and 70s.

In the study, children aged four to six were left in a room with a marshmallow and given the option to eat the treat immediately or wait 15 minutes to receive double the marshmallows.

Years later, researchers followed up with these children and found that those who were able to wait showed better academic, professional, and even mental health outcomes.

Thus, children who learned to wait showed greater self-control and planning ability, characteristics that are of utmost importance for achieving goals and overcoming challenges effectively.

A trustworthy environment influences the choice to wait or not

An interesting subsequent study that expands on the original marshmallow research was conducted by other researchers in the field. They found that the trustworthiness of the person requesting the wait significantly influenced how long the children waited.

In other words, the little ones were only willing to wait longer if they perceived the person asking them to wait to be trustworthy.

In the experiment in question, some children were approached by someone who promised and fulfilled the promise to return with an extra reward, while others encountered someone who acted the opposite way and did not return.

Thus, the children who interacted with someone they considered trustworthy waited longer for the additional reward. On the other hand, those who dealt with an untrustworthy person were not willing to wait as long.

This study suggests that a child's choice to wait for something can also be a rational decision, based on the trustworthiness of the environment they are in and the people around them.

This shows us that to help children be patient, it is fundamental to create a trustworthy environment where they feel it is worth waiting. Furthermore, the attitude of the adults they live with plays a decisive role in how the little ones will learn to deal with waiting.

The importance of saying "no"

Part of teaching children about patience involves saying "no" consistently.

While it may be difficult for some parents to deny their children something, it is important to remember that this is part of the process of guiding them on limits and self-discipline.

Thus, saying "no" helps children understand that they cannot always have what they want immediately, and that some things need to be earned with effort and time.

When parents say "no" to certain immediate desires, they are practically teaching them how the world works and preparing their children for the real possibilities of life.

After all, children who learn to deal with frustration tend to be more resilient and able to face future disappointments – which, however undesirable, will inevitably happen.

As parents, we have the responsibility to guide our children on how to deal with these situations assertively, not leaving room for overprotection that aims to avoid children's discomfort at all costs.

Strategies to teach your child to wait

• Establish clear rules

Explain why it is important to wait and how it can benefit them in the future. Well-defined and understood rules enable children to internalize the concepts of self-control and discipline.

• Actions speak louder than words

Children learn a lot by observing adults, so be an example of patience in your daily actions.

Show them in practice how to deal with situations that require waiting, such as queues, delays, or tasks that take more time.

Another strategy is to act with calm and control in stressful situations, as they also teach children to do the same.

• Playful tools

During leisure time, stories and games that involve the need to wait can be good tools to teach about patience.

Tales that highlight characters who need to wait patiently for their rewards or games that require turns with waiting time can help your child practice and value patience in a fun way.

• Positive reinforcement

Recognize and reward attitudes that demonstrate self-control and waiting. This does not have to be a material reward; a simple compliment or hug can be enough to positively reinforce the desired behavior.

Challenges and solutions

Teaching patience in everyday life to children can be challenging, especially in an age where most people value immediacy. Because of this, it is very common to see frustrated children resisting learning to wait. But parents' persistence is essential.

Learning to wait in daily routines can facilitate children's learning. Moments such as waiting their turn during a game, waiting the right time to eat or get dressed, are rich opportunities to practice.

Teachers can incorporate activities that require following specific calendars or demand planning time, such as long-term projects or group work.

And to deal with children's complaints about waiting time, it is always possible to offer good activities that distract and occupy the little ones while they wait – even against their will.

Resist the temptation to give in to your child's insistence on not waiting and remember that learning to wait will positively impact various areas of their life in the future.

Therefore, be firm, because by investing in this, you will not only be preparing your children to deal with the immediacies of current society in the right way, but also for the challenges of adult life.